New Discoveries

These last 5 days have been action packed! Being on this liquid diet has really taken me on an amazing journey of self discovery. I've made a couple of personal and medical discoveries I'd like to share with you.

I am a Food Addict
I knew I was addicted to food but I really didn't know what it meant to be addicted. Let me explain. I love food. I know that I over eat. I can't have half a cup of pasta. That is just silly to me. I will though have possibly 2 cups in one sitting. I think about food, dream about food, get excited thinking about food, and most of my happiest memories are around food. I knew that. What I didn't know was how much I would think about food when I couldn't have it and how I would sound wanting it. Day 2 of my liquid diet I started to think about cheating. I would say things like, "Just one bite won't hurt" "No one will know if I just nibble this."These are words that for me echo the sounds of an addiction. If I am not physically hungry why do I want food so badly? Simply: I am addicted. Like an alcoholic craves the drink and lies about being able to "control" the amount so am I with food. Truth be told, it wouldn't stop at one bite. I am learning that now. If given choices I will eventually make the wrong choice. Being on this liquid diet has really helped me to see this. I am still struggling with the need to eat emotionally. I want it!


Hematology 101
A week or so ago I had some preoperative test done. All the favorites: an EKG, upper GI, X-rays, blood work, and pulmonary function test. My results were given to my doctor who has to clear me for surgery. On Thursday my doctor informed me there were some problems with my blood work and EKG and I need to see a hematologist before she could clear me for surgery. So on Friday I saw a fantastic hematologist who informed me of two things: I have a genetic blood disorder and a clotting factor disorder.

Thalassemia Minor: Basically my hemoglobin is weird. On blood work I appear to be anemic. No big problem here. It's something you live with. It occurs in people of Mediterranean descent and is believed to cause Resistance to malaria. In many ways its a super power.

Factor XII: Long story short. Looks like I failed a clotting test. In fact I have a clotting disorder affecting my XII factor. This really is no problem for surgery. However, my hematologist did say that this factor XII deficiency can be what has caused my multiple (2) miscarriages. Can you believe that. The one thing to fix this. An aspirin a day. AMAZING. It's one of those things you don't find unless you're looking for it. WOW.

So, that's what I've been doing. Still trying to get everything arranged for my surgery date - which by the way is March 10. Well look at that...time to have lunch. Vanilla Protein shake anyone?