Then and Now and a Recipe

Well the grand total is 30 lbs! By the way that is nearly 10% of my weight! I can't hardly believe it as I write it! 30 lbs in 4 weeks. I am so totally amazed. Honestly, I can't say I've worked too hard at it. I mean I am following the meal plan from my nutritionist and working in some moderate exercise (that means I am walking my dog).

I am so blown away. Do you know how long it would have taken me to loose 30lbs before WLS? Do ya? Well I do! As I was contemplating this amazing reality I decide to try to dig up one of my old Weight Watcher "membership books". And sure enough I found it!






So I cracked that puppy up to see if I ever lost 30lbs last time I did WW. According to my booklet I joined on September 27, 2005 weighing in at 308.6 lbs. The first week I lost 3.2 lbs! Yeah for me. But as the time goes on I would loose some weight and gain some weight. This booklet takes me all the way to January 3, 2006 where I weight 293.8 - more than I weight today! So from September to January - let's just say three months I lost ......... drum roll please.......

14.8 lbs

Amazing! In case you think I may be fudging the data; I took a picture of that too!!

I am so glad I made this decision. So freakin' glad. I am sure after my January weigh in is when I went to the surgeon for the second time. It would take me 4 more years to finally get to where I am today. So, so amazed!

One of my fears about weight loss surgery was all the food I was going to have to give up. All the bread, all the pasta, all the yummy yummy fast food. So far I am not missing much. I feel so good and really make sure the food I do it is delicious and high quality that I really am savoring and enjoying the meals I do eat. I've also been doing alot of reading and web browsing. I've been looking at different bariatric surgery websites and reading different recipes and food suggestions. So far I haven't tried too many different recipes. Tonight I tried these Cottage Cheese Pancakes!! Oh, so yummy! Courtesy of Susan Leach. These are to die for! I could totally see me making these for the family on the weekend with some bacon. Go ahead and try them! I dare you! I just change the butter for canola oil- so that does change the calorie count. But here's the recipe!

Cottage Cheese Pancakes

1/2 medium onion, chopped

2 TBSP butter (I used 2 tsp canola oil)

2 eggs

1 cup cottage cheese

2 TBS all purpose flour

salt and pepper to taste and Vegetable oil cooking spray

Saute the onion in butter until golden and season with salt and pepper. In a small bowl, combine the eggs, cottage cheese, flour, salt and pepper, and the cooked onion. Spray a nonstick skillet with vegetable oil cooking spray. For each pancake, scoop 2 tablespoons of batter into the skillet and coax into a 3 inch round. cook until the undersides are golden brown, 2 to 3 minutes. Flip and cook for 1 to 2 minutes longer or until lightly browned.

mmmmm,mmmmm they are so delicious!

I really am so happy and so fulfilled now! I feel fantastic and really just hope I can keep loosing and feeling this good! I am so excited about discovering other recipes out there!

Silver Anniversary

That's what I think of when I think of 25.

25 pounds lost!! Wooo Hooo!!!

I am doing very well and loving life. I am finding that I am having to make some changes in my daily life to accommodate my new lifestyle. I can't really leave the house without my meals.

I've been getting lots of compliments too! Apparently I am glowing. Well, well ;)

I feel good, my clothes aren't bursting at the seams and I feel comfortable.

I had to get my passport renewed and therefore had to take those horrid photos. I am a little bummed that I am going to have a fat Jen passport for the next 10 years. What if I loose so much weight I don't look like my passport?

The Last Stand of the 300

Ladies and Gentlemen I am now under 300lbs!

Take that Leonidas!

I Really Did It?....I Really Did It!

Last night I was sitting on the coach watching on of my favorite TV shows Ruby. I really love her, although sometimes she does annoy me with her whiny voice and butchery of the English language (I am so hacky....I am so humdidated). I was watching her in her weight loss journey and her mentoring of a 17 year old obese young woman. As I am watching I begin to think (as I often do when watching weight loss stories), I need to do something about my weight.

KURPLUNK

I chuckled and lifted up my shirt to see my scars. Yep I did it. I really did it! I've waited so long for this and to finally have made it to life post surgery! All this is still very hard for me to comprehend.

Finally, instead of wishing and dreaming about doing something - I did! I really did it!

Part of my amazement I believe is that I am doing so well. I don't have any real pain - only mild discomfort. I have energy and am moving around pretty good. I believe my swelling has gone down and today I was even able to bend down and pick something up off the floor.

I really feel like I can do this! For the first time in a long time I feel like I have the tools to conquer this monster. I am so ready to get working out. I have to wait until I am medically cleared so for now I am just walking outside. I've never been this excited to get moving. I think the possibility of success is really motivating me forward.

Wow.... I really did it... I really took that step that I've been stalling at for 6 years and did it.

Yeah Me!

The Details

Well I am home. Resting comfortably. So weird to finally be here after such a long journey. I honestly feel great. I have some mild bloating (from the air they pump into your abdomen to do the surgery laparoscopically) and some mild discomfort. I really wouldn't call it pain. Overall I had a great experience at the hospital and am so ready to get on with loosing!!

Part of blogging, for me, is to help others who one day may be in my shoes. Perhaps they are thinking of surgery or even preparing for it. I know I find great comfort in sharing in the journey with others. So I want to share the details so others may have some idea what my experience was like. So here goes...

March 10
5:00 am: Wake up. Didn't really sleep well. I kept jumping awake thinking "Is it over" but alas I was still at home. Showered and got ready to head to the hospital. My parents were here with me and my husband. Feeling a little out of body :Is this really happening

6:30 am: Arrive at surgical unit. I am checking into a little room with a bed, tv, chair, etc. Have my gown and all the stuff waiting for me. Given my wrist band and told to disrobe and get in my gown. Wow this is really happening

7:15 am: Anesthesiology comes in. Have a fantastic anesthesiologist who tells me she is going to take care of me and everything is going to be fine. Begins my IV. She is great! Get first dose of heparin. More of the anesthesia team comes in and introductions are made. Given something for my nerves.

7:3o am: Dr. Halmi pops in to say good morning and see if I have any questions. Introduces himself to my family

7:45 am: Time to roll out. Parents and hubby give me kisses as I am being wheeled to the OR. I start to cry now. I can believe this is really happening. I am really doing this. The team assures me they will take care of me.

7:50 am: Make to the OR room. Hop on the OR table, lay down, and then BLANK

9:30 amish: Wake up to: "Jennifer..... JENNIFER". "OK I am up already. Am I banded? Is it over?" "Yes, it's over, you did it!" Me: "Thank you Jesus, thank you Jesus..." No pain. Just a pressure in my abdomen. Some lady beside me is whaling in pain. Don't know what surgery she had but I felt bad for her.

10:15 am: Rolled up to my room. Hubby and family come in. I feel REALLY grumpy and cranky. Seems to be my reaction to anestesia. Felt great. Was alert and awake. Really had no complications or problems.

11:30 am: Ran my first marathon. Ha ha Just started walking the floor. Wore my husband out! Nurses were really impressed with me. I am so convinced that my quick recovery and energy have been a blessing from all the prayers offered up for me. So thankful for being washed in these prayers.

1:00 pm: Realize I am staying over night. Still feeling great.

4:00 pm: Visit from my friend Angie. Great walk. Grumpiness has subsided.

Overnight: Get some nice drugs that make me feel like I haven't even had surgery. Sleep on and off. Overall good night. See video.....

March 11
7:00 am: Wake up feeling like P Diddy. :) Go for a walk and feel great.

9:30 am: Mom and hubby arrive. I am awaiting my Upper GI to make sure liquid can flow through my band.

11:00 am: Taken to radiology for Upper GI. Little nervous to drink this foal tasting liquid. Everything goes fine and right down my tummy.

12:00 pm: First meal pot op! Chicken Broth and Orange Jello!! Oh yummy! don't even finish the meal!

1:00 pm: Discharged!

So I am home now. Had my first 30 g of protein and pudding cup! Working on my last 20 g of protein for the night and getting some liquid in there. I feel great. Went on a little walk with the hubby and dog. Can't wait for a shower tomorrow. Mom and I even cooked dinner together.

Welcome to the New Jen!

It's done. I am banded!

I had an anxious night. I kept waking up in the night.

I was okay on the car ride over but lost it when I said good by to my husband and parents. I was just so stressed and ready to be done.

Surgery was quick and painless. I am not really in any pain at all. I feel totally fine. I've been walking and walking and walking. Not sure if I'll stay over night or not but I am at a really good hospital so I am happy either way.

Been sucking on ice chips. Feeling good...so happy I am on the other side of this whole thing.

Thanks so much for all the support! Will post when I am home!

The next time I am in a hospital I better leave here with a baby! ;)

Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow

Tomorrow everything changes.

I sit here on the eve of my weight loss surgery in a very funky place. I am not quite sure how to feel.

It was in 2004 that I had my first surgical consult. For 6 years I've hemmed and hawed about having this surgery. I even started the process twice. Never making it past insurance approval.

So many things floating around in my head. Why couldn't I do it by myself with diet and exercise? Why? Has it really come to this?

And now it's here. Is this really happening? Is this really what I want?

I know - as sure as I know there is a sun in the sky - that without this surgery I will not get control of my eating/weight.

I know I need this.

So here I sit. Scared. Anxious. Anticipating. Hungry. Timid.

Losing to Gain

Losing weight. Gaining weight. Up. Down. It's a roller coaster.

I've lost weight and gained weight so many times. I finally gave up. I would work so hard and really push myself to lose and then gain it all back. Plus 10 extra pounds.

I would do well. I would do really well. One time at Weight Watchers I was disciplined for losing too fast. Imagine that.

I've denied myself over and over again. Repeating the mantra "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels."

Surprisingly I am doing alright on this liquid diet. Once I got around the thought of not eating I was okay. I am having some other side affects from the shakes that I can't live with.

Now in 48 hours everything will change. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared.

People often ask me what is my "goal weight". To be honest I haven't really thought about it. I really have no idea - no way to comprehend what it feels like to be something other than obese. I've always been fat. For me to be under 200 lbs is a huge goal. I almost made it once. But never crossed the finish line to Onederland. My goals for this surgery are very different. For me it's not so much about losing weight but about gaining goals. Those are the things I have to focus on. Over and over I have to remind myself that I've eaten everything I possibly could in 34 years of living. I know what prime rib and pasta taste like. I know how a greasy, juicy burger feels as it slides down your throat. I've experienced these things. Other things I have not. Those are the things I am gaining.

My focus, my resolve is to center on these items. My new mantra:

"Nothing tastes as good as .....

• crossing your legs
• wearing a "regular size" pair of jeans
• sitting on an airplane and not feeling like you are spilling over
• buckling an airplane seatbelt and not needing a seat belt extender
• walking up a flight of stairs without panting
• being medication free (no more metformin)
• playing with my nieces and nephews on the floor
• sitting on the floor comfortably
• feeling like you belong in your own skin......feels.

Finally, and most importantly, nothing, absolutely nothing, is better than feeling prepared and able to battle infertility with a healthy body.

Losing to gain ... a new way of looking at life. A new life. Here I come!

New Discoveries

These last 5 days have been action packed! Being on this liquid diet has really taken me on an amazing journey of self discovery. I've made a couple of personal and medical discoveries I'd like to share with you.

I am a Food Addict
I knew I was addicted to food but I really didn't know what it meant to be addicted. Let me explain. I love food. I know that I over eat. I can't have half a cup of pasta. That is just silly to me. I will though have possibly 2 cups in one sitting. I think about food, dream about food, get excited thinking about food, and most of my happiest memories are around food. I knew that. What I didn't know was how much I would think about food when I couldn't have it and how I would sound wanting it. Day 2 of my liquid diet I started to think about cheating. I would say things like, "Just one bite won't hurt" "No one will know if I just nibble this."These are words that for me echo the sounds of an addiction. If I am not physically hungry why do I want food so badly? Simply: I am addicted. Like an alcoholic craves the drink and lies about being able to "control" the amount so am I with food. Truth be told, it wouldn't stop at one bite. I am learning that now. If given choices I will eventually make the wrong choice. Being on this liquid diet has really helped me to see this. I am still struggling with the need to eat emotionally. I want it!


Hematology 101
A week or so ago I had some preoperative test done. All the favorites: an EKG, upper GI, X-rays, blood work, and pulmonary function test. My results were given to my doctor who has to clear me for surgery. On Thursday my doctor informed me there were some problems with my blood work and EKG and I need to see a hematologist before she could clear me for surgery. So on Friday I saw a fantastic hematologist who informed me of two things: I have a genetic blood disorder and a clotting factor disorder.

Thalassemia Minor: Basically my hemoglobin is weird. On blood work I appear to be anemic. No big problem here. It's something you live with. It occurs in people of Mediterranean descent and is believed to cause Resistance to malaria. In many ways its a super power.

Factor XII: Long story short. Looks like I failed a clotting test. In fact I have a clotting disorder affecting my XII factor. This really is no problem for surgery. However, my hematologist did say that this factor XII deficiency can be what has caused my multiple (2) miscarriages. Can you believe that. The one thing to fix this. An aspirin a day. AMAZING. It's one of those things you don't find unless you're looking for it. WOW.

So, that's what I've been doing. Still trying to get everything arranged for my surgery date - which by the way is March 10. Well look at that...time to have lunch. Vanilla Protein shake anyone?